The Next (small) Step with My Book
I didn’t think I could write a book, but I wrote a word, and then another word, which became a poem. And this happened again and again as I made myself available to creativity. At the end of a year, I had a book.
And now, I’m about to take some steps towards publishing. They feel big because they are new, but like all the steps I’ve taken on this journey, in and of themselves they are small. They feel big because I hope they lead to my book being published, but like all the other steps, just when I think I know what direction they will lead, creativity will show me the way.
An artwork created and hung by my seven-year-old. Reminds me that the next small step is usually to just take a breath.
This creative writing process I have immersed myself in reminds me of spiritual disciplines I also practice—namely, centering prayer. Essentially a form of Christian meditation, centering prayer is an act of consent to the divine, a letting go into silence and mystery, a surrender to all that is beyond control. And in the regular, daily showing up to the mundane act of sitting in the quiet, transformation can happen—not the kind you really imagine at the outset but one that feels deeply familiar as you find yourself taking form.
“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.”
I couldn’t imagine I would be able to write a book or what it the content would be at the outset of this year. But as I sat with my notebook and my computer every day, and opened myself to the stream of creativity that is always waiting, beyond control, words were there. And as I wrote, I changed. And as I changed, I wrote. The book I wrote feels like she’s always been there and also like she’s entirely a new creation.
So, back to the step at hand: helping my book find a publisher. It’s a process of submitting to first book contests for now, many of which are soon to open their submission windows. Then, it will be waiting. And, probably after that, more submitting. I can’t imagine having a published book, but I think that once she’s published, I won’t be able to imagine it happening any other way.
